I know what it is like to have a thought sitting just out of reach. Sometimes it is a situation you experience over and over; sometimes it is a feeling you cannot quite name. One particular insight had been with me for years, but I had not been able to capture it. When it finally hit, it landed like a ton of bricks. Even then, I wondered why. The thing I noticed? Many of my favorite characters in fiction and science-fiction movies are green. The Hulk. The Grinch. Elphaba. Godzilla. I have only recently gotten to know Elphaba through Wicked, but there are one or two scenes from that movie I have watched well over 75 times. The moment that brought the thought into focus came during a debate with a friend about who the hero was in Godzilla vs. Kong. My friend said Kong. I have always seen Godzilla as the hero of nearly every movie he has been in. That disagreement made me realize that many people see these characters as villains, while I have tended to see them as misunderstood heroes.
I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, so I will not pretend to explain exactly why. But I think I have seen something familiar in them. I do see a real connection to the way skin color can shape how people are treated around the world. I do not mean that a fictional character’s story is the same as a person’s lived experience. Rather, I think about how easily we can judge any person, or anything we do not understand, by what is visible on the surface.
When I coach someone, I tend to think of each person as the hero of their own development journey. I didn’t come up with the term “hero’s journey,” but I like it because it frames the conversation and how I try to see the person in front of me. Sometimes a person is fighting against an organization. Sometimes they are fighting against themselves, a supervisor, or a co-worker. The challenge is not always obvious from the outside. So I try to understand what the person is up against before we decide what might help. The green-skinned heroes I connect with are often misunderstood and seen as aggressive. They may be alone for their own sake or for the sake of others. They are powerful, fight for good, and are willing to face an uncomfortable truth. That framework helps me ask useful questions: If you feel misunderstood, why? Do you know what people have said, formally or informally? If you are fighting yourself, what part of you is in conflict? Do you know when it is happening? Those questions do not assume the person is always right or that every conflict has a simple answer. They make room to understand what is happening. The employee across from us is not just a role or a problem to solve. They are someone’s precious son or daughter, with a life and a story beyond the workplace.
Please understand - you are the hero in your development journey. But one thing people sometimes miss is that the hero is not always seen as a hero. Often, the hero is seen as the villain. Some people are comfortable carrying that burden, whether they admit it or not. Many of us are not. One trait I have seen in successful leaders is the ability to be comfortable being uncomfortable. We all want to be liked across our careers. But when I have told leaders that, to understand the market, they need to explore the market, their first feeling has sometimes been disloyalty. “If I look at other options, does that mean I am not committed?” Not necessarily. It may simply mean you are taking responsibility for understanding your own worth. In my first book, You’re Worth It!, I write that companies will do what is best for them, while many employees may hesitate to do the same because they feel disloyal. I tell people, “The company doesn’t owe you anything but a paycheck.” I do not say that to encourage anyone to leave. I say it to encourage people to understand their worth and what it means to capture it. That understanding may lead you to stay and grow where you are. It may lead you to ask for a different opportunity, build a new skill, or explore what else is out there. The point is not to make a sudden move. It is to remember that your career belongs to you, too. And yes, even when you are trying to do the right thing for yourself, some people may see you as a villain. That is okay. At times, it is even expected.
The characters I named are not all alike, and that is part of why the pattern stays with me. Godzilla tears through Tokyo to save the world. The Hulk smashes foes to help those who cannot help themselves. The Grinch is treated as an outsider from the beginning; trying to understand him can help us see what it means to be treated as less than. Elphaba is labeled a witch because she will not harm those being harmed. That label comes from people with the power and authority to give it. And still, each one moves forward, one step in front of the other.
Someone once read one of my previous articles and wrote that they had never seen HR tied in with Dave Chappelle. I imagine tying together HR and green-skinned heroes may be in that same category. And yet, it is important to say: we are not all the same. There is value in our differences. Your background, skills, and strengths are your own. You do not have to become someone else to move forward.
That brings me back to the Grinch trying to hail a taxi. “It’s because I’m green, isn’t it?” The line is seemingly funny because he is expressing what it feels like to be passed over because of how he looks, rather than be understood for who he is. At work, we may not be able to control what others assume. We can keep learning how to understand ourselves, name the challenges in front of us, and take the next step as the person we are.
When it comes to your career, what is your hero’s journey, and how will you face the challenges ahead when some, and possibly many, may be standing in your way?
Coach Ha-Keem
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